New Years Eve

This time last year I was geared up for 2012, my best year yet I promised myself. I wasn't in a great place and my commitment to 12 in 2012 gave me goals that I felt would be realistic and achievable...ha...that didn't quite happen! My year threw up challenges that on New Years Eve 2011 I didn't think would be possible. With my husband jetting out to visit his critically ill Mother in Finland I laid alone in a bath filled high with bubbles sipping champagne and then retiring to bed before midnight...it was wonderful. I approached the start of January refreshed and raring to go but with my mother-in-law seriously ill and my Uncle passing away by February everything seemed to be falling apart. Let's skip past everything else quickly, I became ill myself and then my Father passed away after I spent five months caring for him, ten weeks later after settling my Father's affairs my Mum was diagnosed with Cancer and then my Great Uncle became ill and I returned to caring again before he passed away suddenly at the end of November...phew what a year!

So here I am faced with another year and slightly worried about what this one will bring. But I have a new attitude towards this one, I'm making no New Year resolutions and there will be no 13 in 2013. This year is all about me, I've decided that I want to be just a little bit more selfish and do what I want to do. The other day my subscription to Essentials Magazine dropped on to the door mat and today, with a handful of chocolate in my hand I laid out on the sofa and devoured not only the chocolate but the entire magazine. By the time I had finished I felt great, positive and pleased to know that many women like me are also approaching 2013 in the same way. The Editor's letter was called "It's Time to Get Happy!" And she's absolutely right, it is! There's nothing I should feel guilty about, if I want to eat like a pig I'm going to; if I don't want to do something I'm going to say NO and I'm going to make sure I achieve that work/life balance without feeling negative about it...it's not all about money and work. My favourite page of the magazine was "101 Best Bits of Advice Ever!"
"Learn to trust your instincts...if something doesn't feel right, listen to it go with your gut. It doesn't lie." This is so true and something I can definitely say I have learnt this year. The Celebrity Words of Wisdom also helped too..."There are no regrets in life, just lessons" from Jennifer Aniston
"The important thing is to realise that no matter what people's opinions may be, they're only just that - people's opinions" Mary J Blige; and my favourite "Never eat anything bigger than your head!" - Miss Piggy. So here I am, I know 2013 won't be easy, I know there will be changes that unsettle me and days when I feel sad and stressed but I feel that this year has made me grow up and find some direction in my life and I know that by the time I reach Christmas 2013 I will be much more wiser again and hopefully achieving my goals whatever they turn out to be...I've decided I won't be setting myself any, instead I'm just going to go and discover my goals as I move through the year.

It's raining and I feel content that I'm sat here warm and cosy with a fridge full of food that's absolutely no good for me, there's plenty of alcohol and champagne to celebrate the end of a horrible year and plenty of rubbish to watch on the television. I've developed a bit of a muffin top above my jeans but I've just devoured a third of a box of chocolates...do I care? No I really don't. I'm not planning a diet, I'm not going to get up and go running in the morning in fact I'm going to put my pyjamas on, eat some more chocolate and watch the Sound of Music knowing that I can because it's my life and I can do anything that I want. I'll go running next week...once I've eaten everything...although nothing bigger than my head! Happy New Year.

Catherine xx